I utterly adore Pirates of the Caribbean, it is a spectacular film, tainted slightly by the underwhelming sequels that followed - but we won't dwell on that, no, we will celebrate the fantastic film that this is in it's own right.
The Curse of the Black Pearl. It even sounds amazing.
But oddly, that wasn't my very first thought. In fact, I completely dismissed the film when I first heard of it (as a 14 year old). My dear parents gave it to me as a Christmas gift and my reaction was pretty much 'Pirates? Ha, I'm not a child anymore'
In fact, on Christmas day of 2003, when my parents and grandparents and siblings sat down to watch this new, exciting film (and my present!) - well I was busy on the computer, chatting away on AIM.
But, I remember at one point I strolled down to see what everyone was up to. And I saw skeletons on the screen, sword fights ... Damn, that wasn't the kid's movie I had dismissed earlier. That looked incredible.
And so, the very next day I sat down alone in my bedroom and watched Pirates.
And again.
And again.
I have quite literally seen this film dozens of times. I've even watched it with the audio commentary (who even does that?). It's one of my favourite films ever. It rivals Star Wars for my affections, yes, seriously.
So you may need to forgive a little rambling, a little heart-searching and a whole lot of misty-eyed reminiscing in this post.
1.
The big three.
Johnny Depp. Keira Knightley. Orlando Bloom.
Cap'n Jack Sparrow. Elizabeth Swan. William Turner.
There's something about these three that just worked so perfectly.
Orlando Bloom was no longer the pretty-boy elf with perfect aim, no. Now he was the somewhat rough around the edges, good man and future pirate. He nailed this part, he was never supposed to be the fan-favourite (that would always be Depp), no he was supposed to be the good guy. The Luke to Depp's Han.
Keira Knightley wasn't a school kid playing football any more (Bend It Like Beckham. Watch it people, it's great). Instead she was the pouty, screamy, perfectly played damsel in distress with an edge of diamond. Okay, I'm rambling, I'll talk more about Keira Knightley later ...
Johnny Depp is Jack Sparrow. I mean, he is a good actor, of course, he has had lot of other great films I wont mention here ... But for this film, he nailed it. He became iconic. And extra points for the best entrance ever.
2.
Captain Barbosa.
We all know how cool Jack Sparrow is ("Ah, but you have heard of me!"), but the real pirate of this movie is Captain Barbosa (A real captain, he has a ship, you know).
When I try to talk like a pirate, I don't pretend to be the charismatic and continually drunk Captain Sparrow, no way, I would fall way short.
No, if i want to be a pirate, I'm Barbosa.
He has the Arrggggh nailed. He sounds perfect.
He is perfectly evil, too. Pirates aren't good people, despite what Disney would want us to believe. Pirates tend to be bad people. And Captain Barbosa is not a good person at all.
And that makes him the perfect pirate.
3.
The music.
Yes, this is almost a certainty with any of my Disney reviews, but the music is absolutely top-notch on this film. When I look at this picture of the Black Pearl, do you know what I hear?
And, a special mention to Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life for me .... A song so wonderfully catchy I can frequently be heard humming it whenever I have rum in my hand (which isn't often enough...)
We're devils, we're black sheep ....
4.
Keira
Keira Knightly is in my top 5. (you know the top 5 I'm talking about, wink wink, nudge nudge). But, so many people think she is wrong to be included.
No! She should absolutely be there.
Not only is she utterly fantastic in these films, in addition to being damn beautiful ... She also has a rum-splutteringly good pout.
Swoooon.
And, listen to the audio commentary, she is fantastic in it! She is adorable, and sweet and just ... awesome!
She is so good, that Captain Norrington, who is a grown man at the beginning of the film when she is but a small kid, becomes infatuated with her when she is a late teen and he is an ageing (admittedly, ageing rather well) older man.
Yeah, Disney can be creepy sometimes.
But, to prove that I can be equally creepy, another token Keira Knightley photo.
We're really bad eggs ...
5.
Everything else.
I struggled to keep it to just 5 things, so I'll group the rest here and try not to spend too much time on each.
The Pirates - every single pirate is perfect. In the same way that The Walking Dead has managed to ensure each zombie is brilliantly realised, so too has Pirates of the Caribbean ensured that each pirate is individual and jut so ... Piratey!
The Rum. I love rum. I feel bad for poor Jack Sparrow when the rum is gone.
Why is the rum gone? :-(
But okay, this is a 10 / 10. and there is good reason.
This film makes me happy.
Disney films are all pretty emotional. Bambi's mum getting shot. The brother in Big Hero 6. The funny in Emperor's New Groove. The relief when they finally find Nemo ...
But Pirates of the Caribbean makes me happy. This film is fun, it's enjoyable, it always brings a smile to my face (I'm starting to think I should watch it again ....)
When a film finishes, and I'm still left with a silly grin. Then that's a great film.
When a film finishes on the 30th re-watch and that grin is still there. Well, that's a 10 out of 10 film for me.
When I was a teenager, I would watch this film to lift my mood. When I couldn't watch the film, I would day dream about sailing off into the distance with the ones I loved, a life of freedom and adventure.
Frankly, the idea hasn't become any less appealing to me! If anyone knows of a pirate ship for sale, you be sure to let me know!
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate"
